Reality Check? Ugh!

Yeah, I know...it's been forever since the last blog post...but better late than never..right?? Sometimes, well maybe more than some...I feel like life is passing me by and I am just going crazy with the daily activities. It is awesome to know that God is always in control. Thanksgiving always brings around those things we forget to be thankful for...family and friends are at the top of the list. I definitely needed a reality check lately. It is so easy to just forget to be thankful and remember what God has brought me through and taught me. Just in the last year, God has been so good. It is awesome to see how God uses the trials that I go through, to help me be there for someone else. I have been teaching little kids at church, and it is funny that through my studying and teaching them, I am learning even more. It is so awesome to see God become REAL. I was just remembering some things tonight and looking back at how BIG a problem was and now seems so small. Nonetheless, God was always faithful and always did as He promised. He never let me down, even when others did. I just want to say I love Him even more today than yesterday! God is great! Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

I just want to say thanks...

The Lord has been so good to me! He continues to shower His blessings on me, despite all the times I fail. Wow, what a great God! I cannot say enough how I have been blessed. It is amazing to look back over my life and see all the times I have fallen and He has reached down and lifted me up. Just thinking right now, there is not enough time in the day or enough breath in my body to give Him the praise He deserves. It's shameful to look at how I have been blessed so much, and yet there are days when all I do is murmur and complain all day! What in the world! R-E-A-L-I-T-Y check! Yeah, that's when I need to say to myself, "Wake up and take a look at what you have!" Life is great! I could not ask for a better. I have the best friends and family. I am richly blessed beyond measure! All my needs are met-I have a roof over my head, shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, and definitely PLENTY to eat.... so why on earth would I have reason to complain?!?! I love that we can ask God for anything and He has promised to give us the desires of our hearts. Philippians 4:19, "But my God, shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Psalm 37:4, "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." See, all we have to do is love, honor, and obey God. I don't know about you, but sometimes for me, this task is so difficult...especially in trying times. But, don't you know how much He loves you? He has the best intentions for you and soooooo many wonderful treasures waiting to give you. God is good all the time! He is an awesome God! Seek Him daily. Thank Him for His goodness. He will never leave or forsake you. He wants to pour His blessings on you! Man, that's good stuff! I love the Lord with all my heart!

Get out of the boat!

Well, this post is gonna be short and sweet...just like me ;) Actually, I have a headache (which is extremely rare for me these days, PTL) so I am gonna be straight to the point and not beat around the bush! I wanted to share what God has been teaching me lately. God has been showing me all kinds of things through scripture and songs, and well, just people. I love that He sends you exactly what you need, WHEN you need it! It could be a song at the right moment, or even a random text from a friend. Sometimes it's just nice to know someone cares about you. I wanted to share something from the sermon on Wednesday at church that was a reality check for me. The sermon was about walking on water. The reference was to Peter walking on water to Jesus. He had to step out with faith. Something that was pointed out in the sermon was "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat." I love this. It's easy to want to do right, but if you never make the effort or take that step of faith..then you will NEVER walk on water. There are often so many blessings waiting for us, if we would just take that leap of faith and well...jump! Am I right? Don't get me wrong, I am not perfect and I don't always take that step either, but we have to remember that the walk with God will not always be comfortable or easy. But, we know that God is in control and He has His best for us! If we try to control it, we will ALWAYS make a mess! When you walk with God, you will be able to know HIS will for your life. Let Him show you what He has for you. He has soooooo many blessings waiting to give to you. When you take that leap of faith and get out of the boat, you are trusting God to show you what is best. He will NEVER fail you! Matthew 14:29 says, "And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus." See, Peter stepped out in faith and walked on WATER to JESUS :) How awesome is that?!?! He not only walked on water, but he walked to Jesus! In Philippians 1:6, it says, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." God has promised to never forsake you. Even when you think the world has turned its back, He will be there. He has great plans for you! So, take the step of faith and get out of the boat! You can do it! Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Yes, life is tough and often we are thrown things we think we can't handle, but you can! God will NEVER give you more than you can handle, so don't give up! Keep at it! Even when you think you can't or that you are too far gone or have messed up too much...nope, God is standing there with open arms waiting! :) Maybe He has put a person in your life to help you or teach you something...so get out of that BOAT!!!

What a Difference a Year Can Make

So, this is apparently something that I have been meaning to "get around to" but just haven't in almost a year...oops :/ I cannot believe it has been so long since I last wrote a blog. Wow. Looking at my last blog, it seems I dropped off when it came time for my first surgery. Well, those who know me well, know all about what has happened with the 2 surgeries in the past year. This has been an eventful and interesting year for sure. It is amazing to look back and see what God has brought me through, good and bad. I have learned tons and grown closer to God, learning to rely on His grace and mercy. Now that everything is getting back to normal, it feels like forever ago when I had surgery. I am very thankful for God's provision in my life and bringing me through the trials and troubles this past year. I believe God brought those trials into my life so that He can use me to witness and be a testimony for others. It is awesome to see just how BIG God is! He is so good.
Lately, I have been trying to focus on the blessings in my life. It is so easy to see troubles and the things that are bad in life. I have been trying really hard to count my blessings and remember things can always be worse. God brings us to it, AND He will bring us THROUGH it. There is a song by Francesca Battistelli that has a line in it that says, "In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." I love this. It really helps put things into perspective and gives me a reality check. If I start having a "pity party," then I try to remember the good in my life right now. Every day brings new things, hardships and blessings. I am also trying to depend more on Christ. It may seem that the world turns its back on you, but God is always there. I love how He wraps His loving arms around us and holds us tight at the very moment we need Him most! He knows our hearts and hears our prayers, even when it feels we are all alone. He knows. He listens. He understands. Our God is in control and wants only the best for us. "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6
I have also been struggling with wanting what others have in life. Come on, we all do it. We ask God, why do they have this and I don't? Well, I know I do. I think it is okay to ask God why, just know that His answer may not always be what we want to hear. Most people want a new car, house, more money, better jobs, etc. It is that human and sin nature to covet. I have really been thinking, well if I do this or that, God will give me this. That is NOT how God operates. I follow HIS will, NOT mine! He will give me the desires of my heart, but those desires will match His will if I am living to serve and follow Him! I have to daily remind myself of this, especially now.

Even in the Valley, God is good!

Okay, so I thought this would be the best way to update everyone on my health issues. As some have read on a previous blog, I found out in November that I had a tumor and it was probably on my pituitary gland. I have been going to specialists and such trying to figure out what is going on with everything. I had an MRI 2 weeks ago on Thursday. The doctor called me and told me the results the following Friday after the MRI. He told me that he could see the tumor, which was a little bigger than he had thought it would be, and also that I had some fluid built up in my head. He then told me that he wanted me to see a neurosurgeon to see if and what needed to be done at this point. So, Friday, yes as in yesterday, I went to the neurosurgeon. I was asked tons of medical questions and then he took me in another room for me to view my MRI scans. He showed me the tumor, which is very clear on the scan. He said that it is actually not growing on the pituitary gland which is good, but it is blocking a passage a little. He said that it is not affecting anything at this point and nothing needs to be done with the tumor, just monitor it. Then, he went on to the fluid issue. I have a large amount of fluid that is built up. He was very concerned about this. He then proceeded to tell me that, yes I will need to have surgery to take care of this problem. The buildup of fluid can cause major problems in the future, and also to prevent an emergent situation, he wants to take care of this now. He specifically stated, "I do NOT want you to wait 6 months to have this done." Talk about scary...yeah to say the least! I am going to have to have a shunt (drain) put into my brain to drain the fluid down through my body and into my abdomen. The surgery will take about 40 minutes and then I will be required to stay overnight in the hospital to make sure everything is okay. It will require an incision into my head and then drill a small hole in my skull about the size of a dime. Then, they will run a tube down through my body into my abdomen to drain the fluid. The shunt is going to remain in place and I should not have to have any more surgeries related to this. There will be a small incision in my stomach so the tube can be put into place in my abdomen. After all is said and done, I will have to be out of work for a week. I will not have to have my head shaved, and will probably not even have a scar. They make the incision behind my ear and at the bottom of my hairline.

I haven't told many people about all of this, well because of several reasons. One, I do NOT want a pity party! I am fine, except for headaches, which I have had since I was in middle school. Two, when anyone mentions the word "tumor," people automatically assume cancer. My tumor is NOT cancerous. Three, I was not sure of anything until I saw the neurosurgeon. I still don't have all the details, but I am sure the surgery will be in June. I will try my best to update on here. Please do not take offense if you are just now finding out about all of this. I am a very private person in general and usually don't tell much about my personal life. Please, don't hesitate to ask questions. I will answer to my best knowledge and ability.

Most importantly, I am trusting God with all of this. He has a purpose and plan. I am not certain of anything, but I can rely on Him to see me through! He is in control. Now, I am not saying that I won't be nervous, because I already am! Please keep me in your prayers! I am absolutely blessed by all the people around me who love and support me. I have wonderful friends and family! God brought me to it, and He will bring me through it!

Praying for Daylight

"If a problem isn't worth praying about, it's not worth worrying about." Well, this is definitely easier said than done. Especially for me, because I am one who likes to take care of things myself and hates to burden others. Although, lately, I am coming to the end of my rope. Thankfully, God is there to pick up where MY rope ends. Life is so hectic and crazy sometimes. It just never stops to let me catch my breath. But, that's a good thing right?!?! Because if it stopped...lol Anyways, back to what I was saying....God is always there and NEVER leaves. There's a saying, "Give your problems to God, He will be up all night anyways." I like this, but boy is it hard to do. I mean I can't just let go...do you know how difficult that is?!?!? I found a verse that helped me a little--Psalm 62:8, "Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah." There are tons of verses that are helpful and full of God's promises. It is hard to believe sometimes, but God is here with us. It seems there are so many questionable things in life for me right now, but at least I know that God's promises are true. I just have to remember that He WILL bring me through the trials and only wants the best for me - and you, too! "Just keep swimming..." right? ;) God is good all the time!

-In Christ,

Bridgett

Just keepin on....

Well, there is just so much to say and so little time to say it! Just when I think I am getting things under control and have a little more time, something else is thrown at me! :) Ok, just an update on my health...the doctor has put off the MRI until later this spring. He put me on some medication that will reduce the size of the tumor. It is not cancerous, which is great! The medicine is helping me to have less headaches, which makes me feel like it is working the way it should be. I really have no other symptoms. I have an appointment for bloodwork again in February. I will let you know how that one turns out. Thank you all for your concern and just keep praying! I really appreciate it!
Next....lol I have started my fourth class for my Master's degree. It is Managerial Finance. It doesn't seem to be too hard yet, but really I feel like I know nothing about it! I hope this one goes well and that I pass with flying colors!
Life is going alright. I set some goals for this week. I think I am going to try to take it one day at a time. I will let you know on this one too! :)
Okay, I have been thinking about things lately. I like to stop and re-think and evaluate where I stand on many things. I think it is good to do that sometimes. It helps to get priorities back in order. Lately, I feel like I have been missing God. I mean, don't get me wrong, I go to church routinely, read the Bible, and pray. Just sometimes, God seems so far away that it makes me long for Him, especially when life gets tough. Many times, I forget that He is right there next to me. He NEVER leaves me, even when I think He is so far away! Often, I get into situations that I have no clue what to do or say...I have to step back and just give it to God. For me, this is very hard to do! Faith is a simple thing at times, but in difficult situations, it seems to be the hardest!
One of my favorite passages is Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I am constantly learning to rely on the Lord. Things don't always go as we plan...boy, do I know this! God is always in control and NEVER leaves us. He is always good and has only the BEST planned for us! Well, this seems to be a scattered post with my thoughts all over the place, but I hope someone will get something out of it :) All praise and honor be to the Lord! Until next time.....